The blare of the trumpet, the peal of the bell. Peeling the belle after the ball. Words are strange, funny, easily manipulated, and often bent beyond the point of breaking by our devious little minds.

There are always words we do not want to hear, words we do, and words that scare and thrill us. The word “Alone” brings instantly to mind what it means. “Desolate” the same. 

Emotionally things have been very rough lately. There are several reasons, which for the moment I will keep to myself and I have control of most of them. However, some random ones are still rattling around my head, taking longer for me to capture, longer for me to subdue them, trace them back to the source, and interrogate to find their source. In many ways this is the hardest part of overcoming depression, as sometimes these thoughts are coming from external sources —static, if you will—that confuses your own processes.

“2 Corinthians 10:5

English Standard Version (ESV)

⁵ We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ”

So says St. Paul. The concept of capturing thought is crucial to recovery. In the context of the quoted passage it is the recovery of the sinner, saved by Grace, to move toward the goal of living in Glory with Christ (highly simplified, there is a lot of meat there, and not where I wanted to spend this particular love letter to myself…). For me today it is these four words: Take Every Thought Captive. As one who is recovering from depression those words are a key to freedom, for me anyway.

Random thoughts are always popping into my head, they have since I was a child. Perhaps I am not alone in this, can’t say though as I am me, not someone else. For a vast majority of the time these thoughts are harmless and pass right through without stopping anywhere else. Then there are the ones that rattle around a bit then go off to explore other spots. The sticky ones are the most interesting. Sometimes they are good thoughts, sometimes bad. Regardless, the thoughts need to be captured so you can either refute them if bad, or reinforce if they are good. I’m going to get snooty now and use a big complex word. The bad thoughts need exegesis to see where they came from, have they caused any damage, and were you in a thought trap (the beginning of negative circular thinking) when it struck. (From our always correct friends at Wikipedia:  Exegesis (from the Greek ἐξήγησις from ἐξηγεῖσθαι 'to lead out') is a critical explanation or interpretation of a text, especially a religious text. Traditionally the term was used primarily for exegesis of the Bible; however, in contemporary usage it has broadened to mean a critical explanation of any text, and the term "Biblical exegesis" is used for greater specificity.)

So a bad thought comes in, you recognize it as such (hopefully before it causes any damage), you chase it down, and discover the cause. You then apply the lesson learned to catch them earlier, and ultimately not have them anymore. So, again using the language of recovery, you need to begin to recognize triggers to certain behaviors. Recognize how you react, what they are, and most importantly how to avoid them. Some of these triggers are deeply implanted and will take a lot of time to root out, but again recognition of them, and changing your behavior when they go off is the important bit.

Baby steps