I don't know anything any more. All I know is that the hole inside is scabbing up nicely, that some of the anger and hatred I feel is wearing off.

I don't want all of it to go away,because if it does, I may do something stupid. Like call and apologize, so I can go through this all again.

I have no idea if she is reading this, and while I sort of wish she is, I also wish she wasn't. The reason for the split is because as far as I know, this is the only place where she can know what I am thinking, and what I think about her. Read back through, and you can see my point.

We hurt each other so badly, so sharply, that I truly wish I wish I had taken my dad's advice, and never gone to Scout camp, that I had never tried that card trick.

Fuck it. I did, and now I am paying the piper.